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N, which on that account was considered contemptible.The
fellow was sneered at that screwed up his face as if in a cloud of
suffocating dust, and fought the water with noise and fury, putting
forth enough energy to carry him a mile, and actually going about
two feet if he were headed down stream.Scientific men say that
the use of the limbs, first on one side and then on the other, is
instinctive to all creatures of the monkey tribe.That is the way
they do in an emergency, since that is the way to scramble up among
the tree limbs.I know that it is the easiest way to swim, and the
least effective.When the arms are extended together in the breast
stroke, it is as much superior to dogfashion as man is superior to
the ape.I have always thought that to swim thus with steady and
deliberate arm action, the water parting at the chin and rising just
to the root of the underlip, was the most dignified and manly
attitude the human being could put himself in.Cow-fashion was a
burlesque of this, and the swimmer reared out of water with each
stroke, creating tidal waves.It was thought to be vastly comic.
Steamboat-fashion was where a fellow swam on his back, keeping his
body up by a gentle, secret paddling motion with his hands, while
with his feet he lashed the water into foam, like some river
stern-wheeler.If he could cry: "Hoo! hoo! hoo!" in hoarse falsetto
to mimic the whistle, it was an added charm.
It was a red-headed boy from across the tracks on his good behavior
at the swimming-hole above the dam that I first saw swim
hand-over-hand, or "sailor-fashion" as we called it, rightly or
wrongly, I know not.I can hear now the crisp, staccato little
smack his hand gave the water as he reached forward.
It has ever since been my envy and despair.It is so knowing, so
"sporty."I class it with being able to wear a pink-barred shirt
front with a diamond-cluster pin in it; with having my clothes so
nobby and stylish that one thread more of modishness would be beyond
the human power to endure; with being genuinely fond of horseracing;
with being a first-class poker player, I mean a really first-class
one; with being able to swallow a drink of whisky as if I liked it
instead of having to choke it down with a shudder; with knowing truly
great men like Fitzsimmons, or whoever it is that is great now, so
as to be able to slap him on the back and say: "Why, hello!Bob, old
boy, how are you?" with being delighted with the company of actors,
instead of finding them as thin as tissue-paper - what wouldn't I
give if I could be like that?My life has been a sad one.But I
might find some comfort in it yet if I coin only get that natty
little spat on the water when I lunge forward swimming overhand.
We used to think the Old Swimming-hole was a bully place, but I
know better now.The sycamore leaned well out over the water, and
there was a trapeze on the branch that grew parallel with the shore,
but the water near it was never deep enough to dive into.And that
is another occasion of humiliation.I can't dive worth a cent.
When I go down to the slip behind Fulton Market - they sell fish at
Fulton Market; just follow your nose and you can't miss it - and
see the rows of little white monkeys doing nothing but diving, I
realize that the Old Swimming-hole with all its beauties, its green
leafiness, its clean, long grass to lie upon while drying in the
sun, or to pull out and bite off the tender, chrome-yellow ends,
was but a provincial, country-fake affair.There were no watermelon
rinds there, no broken berry-ba.
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